Cooking with Fabes 3: On some new shit

Welcome back to another episode of Cookin with Fabes !

This time we have honored guest and fellow chef,  L.Nelson and we're gettin on some classy shit ! I promised I won't swear too much this time. IT PAINS ME but I am a man of honor. Fuck. This is gonna be hard. Crap. Cripes ? Cripes. Tonight we are making a Mediterranean feast of sorts, Lemon Pepper chicken with homemade Tzatiki sauce (my contributions) along with a fantastic Tabouli (tah-boo-lay for the philistines not ta-BOO-lee) and some collard greens and beans.
Lets do this shizz.

File photo of Guest chef and host L.Nelson

I started with some dang tazitaki sauce. I love that stuff so much so I was really just jacked the heck up to MAKE SOME MYSELF.
LETS GET GREEKS.

GREEK YOGURT. SOUR CREAM. VINEGAR, OLIVE OIL, GARLIC, FRESH DILL shits real !
DAMMIT. crap.

Chop up some garlic. Mince that stuff. Mince the ship out of it. Mix olive oil, garlic and vinegar in a bowl ! Use like 4 bowls throughout the whole meal.

L.NELLS MAKING SOME GREENS WATER. VEGETABLES ? ON THIS BLOG ? we were all shocked.

Stab the water. The water owed you some money. The water should learn not to bet long on horses anymore. The water knows NOW.

Tzatiki sauce comin together nicely.  DICE UP A CUCUMBER AND SLAP THAT SHIT IN THERE.

Nice composition bro. Scallions fo' days. One AND ONLY ONE lemon. Cooking in a real kitchen is so fucking awesome. DAMMIT. Cheese and rice this is hard.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEGETABLES. Artistry up in this ma.

NOW THAT IS SOME GOSH DAMP TABOULI. Just like mother makes.

Beans and greens ! Its good for you ! Its good for your soul.

 

 CHICKEN N' ZIKI. A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. Or at least in Geneva.

I almost forgot ! Our cooking beverage is some classy shit as well, a semi-dry reisling local to the area. WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT BUYING LOCAL BOOZE ? *not ripping off epic meal time. not at all.

Slug it down ! For once your cooking drink is actually delicious and not maddeningly depressing. Not too sweet, notes of lake water and the absence of industry. A simmering cauldron of classism and disdain on the back palate. Tastes like grapes actually.

HOLY GODDAMN SHIT. Im sorry but I couldnt help myself. That is a classy table, well for a student cooked meal at least. We're on some Le Bernadin shit here. This is by far the best meal I have ever contributed to. Do the customary Cooking with Fabes victory jitterbug ! Try and find some more wine.

Thanks to Lisa for contributing !
Next time: Alligator and a tower of ciabatta

FUCKIN COOKING WITH FABES 2: FABES HARDER

And here we are again, another wonderful episode of epicurean delights cooked in our own HWS facilities. Tonight, we will be making some delicious lamb chops, marinated in a tasty tandoori sauce. For our side we have basmati rice with peas ! SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT HERE BRING YOUR NOTEBOOKS AND HOLD ON TO YOUR FUCKING JAWS. THEY'LL BE DROPPING.

 
STEP THE FIRST
Marinate your lamb chops overnight. Let them soak up that flavor like a freshman soaks up natty ice. IGNORE MY TOES DAMMIT. You probly didnt even notice them until I mentioned it but FUCK IT WE'RE ON SOME NEW SHIT HERE.

Lets get cookin !

 

Chops on chops on chops on goddamn chops. I put some pepper and other herbs and shit on there cause you know what I was bored. I dont even care.

On the subject of NOT GIVIN A FUCK I will now consume some miller high life. The champagne of beers ! If champagne tasted like concentrated piss and remorse for a life misspent.

Our guinea pig dinner guest also does not care.

Pan sear those fucks for a tasty crust ! Listen to some David Bowie ! Bowie rules. Lamb rules.

That sauce just gets fuckin EVERYWHERE like GODDAMN. Wash your hands like 100x. Well, you were gonna do that anyway but now at least you have a reason. Yell profanities at your dinner guest until he acknowledges your manic hand washing.

Oven time! Have that pre-heated to 450. I should have mentioned that before. Oh well you aren't idiots you know to preheat the damn oven. IM SORRY! Worry about burning your hands. Worry about the SHITTING smoke detector.

FUCK YOU SMOKE DETECTOR YOU DON'T WIN THIS TIME.

COMBINE THESE THREE. YOU HAVE CREATED.... INDIAN PEA RICE ? +10XP -10 coolness

Let that cook. You know how to cook fucking rice I won't insult you. Make a shitton of it cause you have no idea how much rice is enough for two growing boys.

 

CHOPS ARE DONE, SON. PLATE THEM WITH RICE FOR A TASTY MEAL. GOOD PRESENTATION BRO.

ZOOM. ENHANCE.

Give to ungrateful dinner guest. Stare at him with the blind fury that only an amateur cooking ethnic food for the first time can summon. Wait for him to get uncomfortable. KEEP STARING CAUSE THATS JUST HOW YOU ARE DAMMIT.

Delicious ! Positive reviews under threat of death are still positive reviews. Do a little dance ! Not too fancy you know, just a little victory dance. Maybe a little jitterbug or something. This is a W for you.

BBBBBBBBONUS ROUND

NEXT LEVEL CHICKEN NACHOS LEFTOVER SEXSTRAVANGANNNNNZA

Bake some chicken you've been marinating along with the lamb a few days later.

Ignore the seasoning mix. IGNORE IT. ITS NOT EVEN THERE.

Chips. Run out of chips. Substitute cheez-its. Much like high-school lax substitutions are often the only time you get in the game. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT REDUCED FAT CHEEZ-ITS YOU GOTTA WANT IT.

 Cheese. 3 types. Chicken. Oven. in that order. 

STEAMPUNK=STEAMCRUNK COOKIN'

Awwww yeah.

Hope you enjoyed this I only SLAVED OVER A HOT STOVE SO DINNER WOULD BE READY WHEN YOU GOT HOME. OH I GUESS SPORTS CENTER IS ON. I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN.

Next time... pies ?

Contradiction #2

Contradiction the second

This is a little disorganized, I know.

            This is more reconciling my personal political beliefs and the ways they have changed throughout my life.  My family is very politically liberal, especially my maternal grandmother. She lives with us, and when I was younger I went to her and my late grandfather’s house every day after school and spent many summer days there.  My grandmother is your textbook “bleeding heart liberal”, she gives a lot of money to various causes and never hesitated to remind my sister and I how privileged we were, compared to those in need. Because of these influences once I was old enough to understand politics, I like most other people emulated my family and identified as a liberal democrat. I went to a very politically conservative prep school, where with one other kid, a good friend of mine, I was the only liberal in the grade. I loved being contrarian and challenging the conservative values of my peers, especially because I have always been good at debating, and politics has always made sense to me.  I never discriminated against someone based on their political beliefs but I had a definite feeling of superiority over those I regarded as unfeeling and uninformed.

When I was a teenager, like most teens I rebelled against the values of my family in order to pursue my own identity. In my case this resulted in my switch from a pure liberal to a variety of political identities ranging from libertarian to moderate-conservative. I find that a lot of people in the adolescent stage of life embrace a libertarian or conservative viewpoint, not necessarily socially but economically. The concept of society takes a back seat to the most important person in the teens life, namely themselves. The questions “Why should I have to pay for someone else to be on welfare ?” or “Why is it my responsibility to help others ?” are pondered, and the conclusion is reached that “I don’t owe the world anything, I’ll make my own way in the world and not rely on handouts.” In my case this could not be farther from the truth.

I have been given educational opportunities that few others have the privilege of receiving. I attended private school from K-12 and go to a very expensive and “prestigious” private university. I did not do anything to earn these privileges, they were provided for me by my parents and grandparents, who were only concerned in seeing my sister and I succeed in life, and become educated peoples like themselves. My point being is that I did nothing to deserve the leg up in life I have received, it is merely and accident of fate. Any time I find myself thinking “god this guy’s an idiot why cant he just X…” I have to fight to remind myself that I am so lucky to have been given the choices I have had.  This si not to say I have done nothing to achieve success in my life, I have studied hard (for the most part) and kept out of trouble (for the most part), but I understand that anything that results from my education is not merely my own doing, it is a combination of support from my whole family

This among  other reasons has caused my to move back towards the left in recent years. I understand that society needs a safety net; it needs the rich helping the poor and most importantly the current economic system needs to be vastly overhauled. .  I want to help people, I am not just concerned with my own life and especially my own wealth.

I may not agree fully with the way the “Occupy Wallstreet” protests have been handled but I agree with their message. The banking system needs to be held accountable for the way it has destroyed our economy Pushing people into poverty while giving its guilty executives million dollar bonuses and golden parachutes. Change needs to be fought for. Hopefully like myself, others can look inside themselves and recognize their privilege and stop supporting people who exploit them, recklessly gamble the future of an entire generation then demand YOUR money when they fail.

Just some food for thought. 

FUCKIN' COOKING WITH FABES

COOKIN' WITH FABES

TONIGHT WE GOT SOME STEAKS WITH A RED WINE SAUCE

recipe from Mark Bittman's "Cook Everything"

STEAKS SON. Yeah its past the expiration date but I froze them shits SO WHAT.

FIRST YOU GOTTA PEPPER THAT SHIT. JUST PEPPER EM LIKE GODDAMN.

mmmmm pepper spread that grainy not called for cheap pepper on your steaks.

 
Preheat your FUCKING OVEN TO 200º then set your pan on medium heat.

Open a beer cause that stoves fucking hot. MMM FROTHY

 
Finger lakes table wine. A most recent vintage I think.
CORKS ? WHERE WE'RE GOING WE WON'T NEED CORKS.

Get that butter all nice and sizzzzzlin.

STEAKS ON A PLANE. That jokes not even fucking relevant any more. Drink some beer because you're mad about jokes.

Shallots are the Steven Martino's of the onion world. Small and only useful for minor flavor.
Hack into that fucker like your cutting open your own self-loathing. Cry, not because of the smell, but because its POST-GODDAMN-MODERN.

Well those are browning up nicely ! Oh thats a nice cloud of steam....smoke ?

MAKE SURE TO SET OFF YOUR GODDAMN SMOKE ALARM. this is all part of the recipe. The time away from the stove will give you a chance for contemplation. Use this time to reflect on your failures as a man and a chef. Wait 10 minutes for security to turn off your alarm and get increasingly upset.

FUCK THAT. CHUG FINGERLAKES TABLE WINE UNTIL CONFIDENCE AND FURY RETURNS. YOUR GONNA FINISH THAT STEAK. YOU NEVER FINISH ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE BUT YOU WILL FINISH THAT FUCKING STEAK. Yell this in your empty house, until your roomates walk in. Then yell it at them. THEY DONT KNOW.

Add 3/4 of a cup of red wine, and two sprigs of fresh tarragon, along with a tbsp of butter. This is your sauce. Reduce that shit. Hold the pan under the fan repeatedly until fear of another smoke alarm subsides. Put your steaks into the oven which is still at 200º.

TABLE WINE = ALL THE TIME.

Unsuccessfully brown some potatoes in your reduction, because you are a man and you WILL have a side dish. Side dishes are what makes America a great nation.

PLATE THAT SHIT. SERVE RARE CAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY AND YOU'VE COME THIS FAR. Eat to the strains of your roomates playing NHL and grunting. 


This has been cooking with FABES. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Next time....mixed drinks and mixed greens. NAH.