FUCKIN COOKING WITH FABES 2: FABES HARDER

And here we are again, another wonderful episode of epicurean delights cooked in our own HWS facilities. Tonight, we will be making some delicious lamb chops, marinated in a tasty tandoori sauce. For our side we have basmati rice with peas ! SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT HERE BRING YOUR NOTEBOOKS AND HOLD ON TO YOUR FUCKING JAWS. THEY'LL BE DROPPING.

 
STEP THE FIRST
Marinate your lamb chops overnight. Let them soak up that flavor like a freshman soaks up natty ice. IGNORE MY TOES DAMMIT. You probly didnt even notice them until I mentioned it but FUCK IT WE'RE ON SOME NEW SHIT HERE.

Lets get cookin !

 

Chops on chops on chops on goddamn chops. I put some pepper and other herbs and shit on there cause you know what I was bored. I dont even care.

On the subject of NOT GIVIN A FUCK I will now consume some miller high life. The champagne of beers ! If champagne tasted like concentrated piss and remorse for a life misspent.

Our guinea pig dinner guest also does not care.

Pan sear those fucks for a tasty crust ! Listen to some David Bowie ! Bowie rules. Lamb rules.

That sauce just gets fuckin EVERYWHERE like GODDAMN. Wash your hands like 100x. Well, you were gonna do that anyway but now at least you have a reason. Yell profanities at your dinner guest until he acknowledges your manic hand washing.

Oven time! Have that pre-heated to 450. I should have mentioned that before. Oh well you aren't idiots you know to preheat the damn oven. IM SORRY! Worry about burning your hands. Worry about the SHITTING smoke detector.

FUCK YOU SMOKE DETECTOR YOU DON'T WIN THIS TIME.

COMBINE THESE THREE. YOU HAVE CREATED.... INDIAN PEA RICE ? +10XP -10 coolness

Let that cook. You know how to cook fucking rice I won't insult you. Make a shitton of it cause you have no idea how much rice is enough for two growing boys.

 

CHOPS ARE DONE, SON. PLATE THEM WITH RICE FOR A TASTY MEAL. GOOD PRESENTATION BRO.

ZOOM. ENHANCE.

Give to ungrateful dinner guest. Stare at him with the blind fury that only an amateur cooking ethnic food for the first time can summon. Wait for him to get uncomfortable. KEEP STARING CAUSE THATS JUST HOW YOU ARE DAMMIT.

Delicious ! Positive reviews under threat of death are still positive reviews. Do a little dance ! Not too fancy you know, just a little victory dance. Maybe a little jitterbug or something. This is a W for you.

BBBBBBBBONUS ROUND

NEXT LEVEL CHICKEN NACHOS LEFTOVER SEXSTRAVANGANNNNNZA

Bake some chicken you've been marinating along with the lamb a few days later.

Ignore the seasoning mix. IGNORE IT. ITS NOT EVEN THERE.

Chips. Run out of chips. Substitute cheez-its. Much like high-school lax substitutions are often the only time you get in the game. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT REDUCED FAT CHEEZ-ITS YOU GOTTA WANT IT.

 Cheese. 3 types. Chicken. Oven. in that order. 

STEAMPUNK=STEAMCRUNK COOKIN'

Awwww yeah.

Hope you enjoyed this I only SLAVED OVER A HOT STOVE SO DINNER WOULD BE READY WHEN YOU GOT HOME. OH I GUESS SPORTS CENTER IS ON. I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN.

Next time... pies ?