FUCKIN' COOKING WITH FABES

COOKIN' WITH FABES

TONIGHT WE GOT SOME STEAKS WITH A RED WINE SAUCE

recipe from Mark Bittman's "Cook Everything"

STEAKS SON. Yeah its past the expiration date but I froze them shits SO WHAT.

FIRST YOU GOTTA PEPPER THAT SHIT. JUST PEPPER EM LIKE GODDAMN.

mmmmm pepper spread that grainy not called for cheap pepper on your steaks.

 
Preheat your FUCKING OVEN TO 200º then set your pan on medium heat.

Open a beer cause that stoves fucking hot. MMM FROTHY

 
Finger lakes table wine. A most recent vintage I think.
CORKS ? WHERE WE'RE GOING WE WON'T NEED CORKS.

Get that butter all nice and sizzzzzlin.

STEAKS ON A PLANE. That jokes not even fucking relevant any more. Drink some beer because you're mad about jokes.

Shallots are the Steven Martino's of the onion world. Small and only useful for minor flavor.
Hack into that fucker like your cutting open your own self-loathing. Cry, not because of the smell, but because its POST-GODDAMN-MODERN.

Well those are browning up nicely ! Oh thats a nice cloud of steam....smoke ?

MAKE SURE TO SET OFF YOUR GODDAMN SMOKE ALARM. this is all part of the recipe. The time away from the stove will give you a chance for contemplation. Use this time to reflect on your failures as a man and a chef. Wait 10 minutes for security to turn off your alarm and get increasingly upset.

FUCK THAT. CHUG FINGERLAKES TABLE WINE UNTIL CONFIDENCE AND FURY RETURNS. YOUR GONNA FINISH THAT STEAK. YOU NEVER FINISH ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE BUT YOU WILL FINISH THAT FUCKING STEAK. Yell this in your empty house, until your roomates walk in. Then yell it at them. THEY DONT KNOW.

Add 3/4 of a cup of red wine, and two sprigs of fresh tarragon, along with a tbsp of butter. This is your sauce. Reduce that shit. Hold the pan under the fan repeatedly until fear of another smoke alarm subsides. Put your steaks into the oven which is still at 200º.

TABLE WINE = ALL THE TIME.

Unsuccessfully brown some potatoes in your reduction, because you are a man and you WILL have a side dish. Side dishes are what makes America a great nation.

PLATE THAT SHIT. SERVE RARE CAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY AND YOU'VE COME THIS FAR. Eat to the strains of your roomates playing NHL and grunting. 


This has been cooking with FABES. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Next time....mixed drinks and mixed greens. NAH.